


You Know What, I Am Gonna Leave

by riversritual



Category: South Park
Genre: Eric Cartman Being Eric Cartman, The Fractured But Whole
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:41:12
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25764598
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/riversritual/pseuds/riversritual
Summary: Kite leaves Coon & Friends for Freedom Pals, and the rest decide to go with
Kudos: 34





	You Know What, I Am Gonna Leave

“Where the fuck is Kite!?” The Coon was raging.

“He was stuck looking after his little brother today, he’ll be here soon,” Super Craig replied.

“That’s not good enough! I wanted everybody to be here on time! New Kid!!” A clawed finger pointing to them. “You saw Kite last! Why the fuck isn’t he here!?”

New Kid didn’t have any answers.

“Y-you’re not very p-p-patient, Eric,” Fastpass commented.

“Shut up!”

Finally, Human Kite arrived.

“Kite! Finally,” Coon beamed, “you’re an essential part of our next plan so I really need you this time.”

“I’m not taking part in one of your schemes again, Cartman,” Kite immediately responded.

The Coon was unfazed. “Just wait until you hear about it, you’re gonna love it!”

“I’m not doing any more of your schemes.”

This had also been heard before.

Coon was still trying. “Okay, so Kite-“

“I’m leaving Coon & Friends.”

That was new.

“Y-you what?”

“I’m going to Freedom Pals, I went over there to apologize and ask for a chance to prove myself, they said it was okay.”

“So you’re going?” Mosquito asked.

Kite nodded. “Yeah, and you guys can come too.”

“We can join Freedom Pals?” Super Craig asked in disbelief. 

“You guys can’t leave!” Coon yelled. “You’re part of Coon & Friends! Kite, you too!”

“Yeah, I was, but not anymore. I came to tell you I’m leaving, and now I am,” Kite replied, and headed back upstairs and out the door.

The Coon was silent for a moment, then started yelling again. “Fine! We don’t need you! Fuck you, Kite, you’re fucking useless anyway!”

“..... I’m going with him,” Super Craig announced, getting up from the table and flipping Cartman off as he left.

“Me too,” Mosquito agreed, heading out.

“F-f-fuck you, Eric,” Fastpass added, joining the other heroes.

“....Fine! We don’t need you guys anyway, we can do this just the two of us! Right, New Kid?”

Unfortunately not. Even New Kid was leaving.

“FUCK YOU GUYS! Fuck you all!”


End file.
